Severe anxiety symptoms are different for everyone

When I come across people who say your anxiety can’t be that bad or its not as bad as mine.. please do not judge how I’m dealing with my mind… like I even want to be in competition with my mental health. Life is bad enough with people judging us all the time. I try to hide myself away from people because the thing is some people are always comparing themselves and this is a behaviour learnt by bad habit. I do not wish to compare my mental conditions to another’s.  My traumas are my personal experiences and my thoughts are my personal feelings do you no how long it took for me to openly admit that I suffer with a mental health condition.  Do you no how long it took me to come to terms with this.. do you no how much I rejected myself and hated myself for suffering with anxiety and depression. No. So next time you simply guess how much my anxiety affects me please bear in mind that my anxiety is different from yours. My anxiety doesn’t just affect my mind it’s affects my whole body geographically I can itch my skin obsessively or my stomach will feel like it’s been turned upside down and I have to stay near the toilet. My face doesn’t look the same my eyes are puffy and red my mouth is dry.. my hands are weak and shaking and I’m sweating continuously… them physical symptoms are the things I try to hide. My mind however tryst to push through it every single day and that is what I call strength… overcoming obstacles that arise gives me a great feeling. You see the mind is a very delicate place and my anxiety can take me to places in my mind that I never knew could exist. So next time you assume my anxiety isn’t too bad please think about invisible illness… just because I portray myself to be fine and comfortable that doesn’t mean I’m not suffering deep down. You see people with mental health conditions get good at hiding their suffering. I just want people to know that talking to each other without competing or assuming will bring us together and help us. Don’t worry about people who judge you I just hope for their own sake they never have to deal with their very own demons how I have. 

Life is my journey and living is my path.

Outside

I got dressed yesterday

But that doesn’t mean I want to go out today

I went out yesterday

But that doesn’t mean I want to go out today

I had fun yesterday

But that doesn’t mean I want to go out today

I had a laugh yesterday

But that doesn’t mean I want to go out today

I spoke to people yesterday

But that doesn’t mean I want to go put today

I enjoyed my company yesterday

But that doesn’t mean I want to go out today

Nothing went wrong yesterday

But that doesn’t mean I want to go out today

I did it yesterday I finally managed to fight my own thoughts

But that’s still doesn’t mean I want to go out today.

 

Living with anxiety is exhausting

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Looking through these eyes

I feel like crying again

Anxiety has me thinking everyone lies

It comes and it goes

Just like clouds in the skies

Some days are brighter than others

Then I’m like a beautiful whirlwind

And some clouds are darker than others

Then I’m like a volcano erupting

Sick of turning to medication

How do we cope without the meds

It’s really people who are no good for us

Need to get out of our heads

If you have nothing positive to say

Don’t speak just listen

Please keep your voice at bay..

I used to wear my heart on my sleeve

The People took my kindness for weakness

Now my hearts never nieve

Don’t look for perfection in me

Flaws and mistakes is what you will see

I’m taking time out now

It’s vital to focus on me.

Life is nothing but a journey.